The entire plot is pretty much complete in my mind and I have the characters already moving in my brain cinema but heck it will take so much time again to be put into words. Hahaha. I hope to get to finish it before my own sun set hahaha.
The theme song I chose for these chapters is Nina's rendition of "Somewhere Down the Road." Ouch! But altogether, I am super excited to make this novel come true. So help me, Papa God. Hahaha.
PROLOGUE
I woke up with the ringing of my phone. It's an overseas call. It's 3:30AM in my place. I didn't realize I have fallen asleep on this blue couch. I've been waiting for this call for what seemingly the longest time of my life. I wanted this call to end the prolonged agony of fear. Fear of losing her.
"Hello?"
"John...this is Amy." I dreaded the tone of the voice I am hearing from the other line. Burst of fear started racing in my chest. Bile filling up my throat to the point of choking.
"Amy, what's going on? How is she?", I demanded an urgent, and God be gracious, positive answer.
Deafening silence ensued.
"I'm sorry, John. She's gone."
The silent sobs grew louder in my ears. Words failed me. NO! My mind scatterred like a mad man trying to save her by my silent scream. NO! I'm not losing her! She won't break my heart! She said she won't! I can't lose her! NO! Please. Please. Please.
"Amy, can you please put the mic on her. I'll wake her up," I asked almost without clarity.
"I'm so sorry, John. She wouldn't hear you anymore,"
"NO!!!" I shouted.
"Please, put the damn phone on her. She will hear me. She will wake up for me. Please. Please." I broke to tears.
The sobs grew into quiet anguish.
"John, I sent you an email. It's her last message for you. I'm so sorry." Amy hanged up.
I felt cold. I died a thousand deaths.
This is not happening. This is just a very bad dream. I will just have to return to bed and wake up to a new day. I will hear her soft, gentle voice again. She will tell me how she loves me and I will tell her how much she means to me. Oh God! Please let this be a dream.
Time runs fast. The rays of the sun coming from my window force its way to my eyes. I rose up quickly! My heart utters the only language it knows!
Sophia!
...
EPILOGUE
The waves of the Mediterranean Sea crash on the shore, as the red sun sets down. We used to watch many sunsets here.
"It is beautiful!" she would always say.
"Why are you looking at me that way?", she would chuckle.
"Your lips..."
"What about them?", her eyes smiling coyly.
"They are like… magnets"
I would kiss her to commensurate my loss for words. And I would be lost in her consuming love.
This place will never be the same. Another day has gone. Another day without her. I miss her. I will miss her forever. The pain of losing her will be a permanent visitor in my heart. I have nothing left. She has taken everything with her.
The see breeze blows softly. As it touched my cheeks, it made me close my eyes. I felt the pain again. The longing. The emptiness.
I thought of her letter that she asked Amy to give me. I kept a copy of it in my wallet. It's in my phone, too. I have read it once. I didn't want to read it again since then. I don't want to feel the excruciating pain it brings me. But right now, as the stars above lined up to their destiny, as the cool wind kisses my cheeks, something is moving me to read her letter again. Gently, I booted my phone. Her smile greeted me as my phone lights up. She is very beautiful. How I love her!
As I read her words, my heart bloats in that familiar pain. But the sea breeze seems to soothe it.
My beloved John,
First of all, I LOVE YOU. I love you with all my heart and soul. Loving you and being loved by you made me live and made life beautiful beyond compare. Thank you for your great love. You're the greatest gift God gave me. I thank God for you.
Secondly, I AM SORRY. I am sorry if you are reading this. There is only one reason why you are reading this. I swear to God, I have been asking him every single day that you won’t read this letter, not that soon. This is the hardest thing I have ever written, especially that i know, how this will make you feel. But i was feeling that my time has come, and i just cannot go without telling you what is inside my heart and mind.
I'm sorry if you are missing me today, and in the days to come. I know how much it hurts. I can never forgive myself for hurting you this much. But you have to know, i didn’t mean this to happen. I swear i did my best not to break your heart. That's the thing i dreaded to do. But this is the farthest i can go. I wish i could stay forever, just to be with you forever. But my time is up.
Now, i can only watch you from afar. I’ll be watching over you all the time. I’ll be that soft gentle breeze, and the brightest star in the night sky. I’ll be that soft voice that the sea creates as i am whispering to your ears how much i love you and miss you. I will not be far. I will stay by you forever, because you are my heaven.
I only want you to be happy, to have the best in everything. But I am not the best for you. I only love you. May the thought of this love always bring you happiness, completeness, strength and peace. Always.
Take good care of yourself. Please do your best not be sad or feel bad. Life does not end with my going. I hope I did something to make you see how beautiful life is, whether I am near or far. Thats what you did to me. For each time you get sad and feel bad, meet me by the sea and we will talk. At night, take your pillow and call her my name. Embrace it like you are embracing me, and you will feel me. I am everywhere you are darling. I won't be far. I’m always near you. ALWAYS.
I don’t want to end this letter, in as much as i don’t want "us" to end. I know you feel me, you always do. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me the happiest girl on earth. Thank you for everything.
So long, Darling. Til we meet again. I love you so much. Don’t forget.
The big wave crashed again like a dot ending her words. I looked to the horizon. It's black like the way I feel inside, but looking afar, my brightest star is shining above me.
I won't forget. I can never forget.
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